


Test Subject

by jupiter23



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Drunken Flirting, Drunken Shenanigans, M/M, Recovered Memories, bonus points if you get the 'Game of Thrones' reference!, gratuitous use of an old internet meme, or drunken attempts at flirting anyway, some sexual content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-08 19:15:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15936605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiter23/pseuds/jupiter23
Summary: Sequel to "Thriller," though you don't necessarily need to have read that fic first.What do you get when you combine a Pathfinder who rarely drinks with a questionable alcoholic beverage? Unfortunately for the crew of the Tempest, they're about to find out.





	Test Subject

Scott dug the heel of one hand into his eye while his other rubbed at the soreness in the back of his neck. Honestly, it felt like he had been going non-stop all day. First, there had been the errand he had to run out to Ditaeon earlier that day. On the way out there, they’d been shot at by groups from the Collective in two different places. Then they’d been shot at once by a group that he, Liam, and Jaal were positive had been scavengers from Elaaden who had come to pick over a remnant site, which meant the remnant had been involved as well.

Then the tiny bit of headway he had started making in his reports was interrupted when he and Lexi had to go down to Kadara Port to collect PeeBee, Drack, and Suvi. Scott actually couldn’t deny being proud of them for starting this particular bar fight, since the entire reason it had begun had been because one of Sloane’s lower-ranking thugs had grabbed Suvi’s ass. Scott and Lexi had arrived in time to find the man in question already on the floor, barely conscious and his face nearly unrecognizable. More of Sloane’s people had Drack and PeeBee on the other side of the room, and broken furniture littered the floor.

And of course, when he’d returned, his stack of reports and backlog of emails hadn’t diminished. He’d been working at them ever since.

No wonder he was tired. And cranky. And starving. Speaking of…

“SAM, when was the last time I ate?” Scott asked. It was probably a really bad sign that he couldn’t even remember when the last time he’d had anything to eat was. Considering he was also a biotic, it was downright dangerous.

“Early this morning,” SAM answered. “You had half a protein bar and a bottle of water.”

“Damn,” Scott muttered, slumping back in his chair, because of course he would go all day and forget to eat.

But it made for the perfect excuse for him to put everything else he had to do that day off until tomorrow. Suddenly, grabbing a plate of dinner or three and spending the rest of the evening cuddled up on the sofa with Gil watching a vid from Liam’s library sounded like the best idea ever. Without giving it a second thought, Scott pushed himself out of his chair and headed for the galley.

 

“Drack, please tell me dinner’s ready,” Scott said as he walked into the galley, where Drack was at the stove tending to his latest version of Drack Surprise. He wasn’t alone in the room; Cora, Jaal, Liam, and Gil were all already seated at the table. Each one of them had a plate full of food in front of them and a datapad in one hand. Gil was alternating between bites of food and tapping away at both his omni-tool and his datapad. He had glanced up when Scott walked in, and flashed him a quick smile of greeting before turning back to his work. Cora was also working on a datapad, and hadn’t looked up at all. Jaal and Liam were both bent over the same datapad, and Liam was quietly trying to explain to Jaal how a human woman was able to walk through a blazing fire to retrieve her three baby dragons without getting singed. They were so deeply engrossed in their discussion that they hadn’t looked up either.

“Just finished five minutes ago,” Drack said as Scott took a seat next to Gil. Almost immediately, a loaded plate and a fork were placed in front of him. Scott wasted no time tearing into his food.

With the exception of Jaal and Liam’s quiet discussion on the other side of the table, the next few minutes were spent in companionable silence. Vaguely, he wondered what everyone else was up to. Kallo, he knew, would be in the crew quarters getting some sleep. They had planned to leave Kadara as soon as Kallo had had some rest, and given that he hadn’t sent word to Scott that he was starting the pre-flight checks, he decided that it was safe to assume that their pilot was still asleep.

He also decided that he wouldn’t actually need to look far to find Lexi, PeeBee, or Suvi, either. In the interests of keeping the relative peace (or at least not having to deal with another bar fight), Scott had ordered PeeBee and Drack to stay on the ship until they’d left Kadara. Kaetus had said he would deal with the guy who had started the whole thing, and Scott didn’t bother asking for details. As soon as they had returned to the ship, Lexi had retreated back to the medical bay to work on some project or other. PeeBee and Drack had taken Suvi, who was still upset from the whole ordeal, off to the galley to make some tea. From there, they retreated to the meeting room on the third level where the sofas were. PeeBee and Suvi were likely still there, if they hadn’t gone to some other part of the ship.

That left Vetra unaccounted for. Scott had had no idea how Vetra had managed to get any details about the fight in Kralla’s Song, though he was willing to bet one of her many contacts had gotten in touch with her.  As soon as they had returned to the ship, Vetra had been there waiting. She had taken one look at Suvi, and Scott managed to catch the flash of cold fury in her eyes in the split second before she regained control over herself. She then suddenly had an errand to run down in Kadara Port, and Scott had decided that he didn’t want to know anything about that, either. Given that there had been no announcement from SAM or anyone else that she was back on board, and no message sent up for Scott to go and collect her, she was probably still in the port.

“Hey, Ryder, about that run to—“ Cora interrupted his musings, only to be cut off by Scott waving a hand in her direction as he quickly swallowed down a mouthful of food.

“Uh-uh, no, for the next twelve hours, I don’t know what reports are,” he said.

Beside him, Gil chuckled. “That bad, huh?”

“You’ve seen my desk,” Scott said. “Which, by the way, also doesn’t exist for the next twelve hours.”

“Bad day, Ryder?” Kallo asked as he walked into the galley and went to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. Lexi followed right behind him, tapping away at her omni-tool.

“I’ve told him those yoga poses would also help his mood,” she said as she accepted a plate from Drack and sat down next to Jaal.

“What would ‘help my mood’ would be for no one else to start bar fights that _I_ have to go straighten out,” Scott shot back with a pointed look at Drack.

“Shifty bastard had it coming,” Drack said, a grin pulling at the corner of his lips.

“Yeah, if he hadn’t touched Suvi, we wouldn’t have had to rearrange his face,” PeeBee said as she and Suvi walked in.

“While I completely agree,” Scott said, ignoring the glare Cora shot him at his statement, “next time you two feel the need to defend someone in a bar, kindly drag the offender outside first?”

“Aw, come on Ryder—“

“—Or _you’re_ paying for the broken furniture and anything else that gets damaged,” Scott interrupted PeeBee.

“Damn,” Drack muttered.

“Alright, alright…” PeeBee huffed as she took a plate from Drack.  Then Suvi and Kallo were each handed a plate, and Suvi sat down next to Lexi while Drack loaded his own plate up. From there, casual conversation started up as everyone ate.

Fifteen minutes later, Scott was considering whether or not to get up and get seconds when Vetra finally appeared.  “A present from Umi,” she announced, setting a bottle down on the table.

“For what? And what is it?” Liam asked, eyeing the bottle as if it might explode at any second.

“Specifically, to Ryder, as a thank you for taking care of the damages earlier,” Vetra answered as she turned to the stove to retrieve her own helping. “But it’s also a request to be a test subject. It’s a new drink she’s thinking about serving and she wants to know if it’s safe for humans.”

“Uh, why me?” Scott asked, now wary himself.

“Actually? I don’t really know,” Vetra said. “Maybe because you have SAM to analyze what it does to you?”

“What’s in it?” Lexi asked. She too was watching the bottle suspiciously.

“Angaran wine and ryncol,” Vetra said.

“ _Ryncol?_ Is she insane?” Liam yelped.

Scott would never know what possessed him to get up and get a glass. But that was what he found himself doing, even as Liam spoke.

“Scott, you’re not seriously considering trying that shit?” Gil protested. “You don’t even really drink!”

“Ryder, I agree, this could be extremely dangerous,” Lexi added.

“True, but at the very least, if anything goes wrong, the medbay is right down the hall.” Scott said as he opened the bottle and poured some into the glass. “Besides, the way I see it, if not me, then someone else is going to try doing this, and they won’t have the advantage of a doctor being less than two meters away from them.”

“Scott, I urge you to reconsider. The human body was not designed to process ryncol. It could cause you to go into immediate respiratory arrest,” SAM announced.

Later on, Scott would admit that that was the moment he should have just given the bottle to Lexi and Suvi for analysis. Or just turned around and poured all of it down the drain. Because if even _SAM_ had reservations…

“Like I said, if not me, then someone else,” he said instead. Then, to everyone watching in varying degrees of horrified fascination—and Gil swearing under his breath as he clamored out from behind the table—Scott downed the entire glass.

“Well?” Liam asked, and now everyone else was working their way out of the booth as well.

Scott blinked slowly as he set the glass down on the table. He _had_ planned to answer Liam. But then the room started spinning, and he clenched his eyes shut against it. He blinked them open again, and he thought he might have started swaying on his feet. He was vaguely aware of falling sideways, and a pair of hands catching him.

That was the last thing Scott could remember.

 

For two heart-stopping seconds, Gil was terrified that SAM’s prediction was happening and that Scott had stopped breathing as he lurched dangerously on his feet. When Gil caught him, however, Scott put a steadying hand against his chest.

“Scott?” Gil asked tentatively.

It seemed to take a bit of an effort for Scott to steady himself. When he did, he blinked sluggishly at Gil’s chest. His gaze then made a slow trek up to Gil’s face.

When their eyes met, Scott’s widened in amazement. “Whoa,” he breathed.

“…Huh?” Gil’s earlier fear was now giving way to confusion. Over Scott’s shoulder, Lexi had pulled up her omni-tool and started scanning him.

“You are _hot_ ,” Scott said, still staring up at Gil in astonishment. His speech was heavily slurred and his eyes were glassy.

“ _What?_ ” Gil was now thoroughly confused. Was Scott actually _drunk_? And how had it happened so _fast_?

Before he could direct either question to Lexi, however, Scott seemed to regain some semblance of control over his legs, and then his hands started to drift up to Gil’s shoulders.

“Ar’you seein’ anyone?” Scott slurred out in a tone that Gil could only guess was an attempt at seductive.

And because Gil was still gripped by sheer confusion, and his first instinct in such situations was to default to smart-assery, he found himself answering with “Uh…yes…”

Gil fully expected with Scott to retort with something equally smart-ass. He even expected Scott to start giggling over what he had said. Or maybe even a resigned acceptance, and then for him to drift over to someone else and try again.

However, he did have to remind himself that Scott had only ever been truly shit-faced drunk one other time in his life, and that had been back in the Milky Way, well before the two of them met.

Which was why he had no way of expecting that instead of trying to flirt with anyone else or snapping off a flippant remark, Scott’s face would actually crumple up and tears would start streaming down his face.

Honest-to-God actual _tears_.

Gil would forever be grateful that everyone else, even Lexi, looked just as horrified and lost as he felt.

“Holy crap, is he actually...?” PeeBee asked as Scott buried his face into Gil’s chest and fisted his hands into his shirt.

“SAM, do you have a read on his blood-alcohol levels?” Lexi asked the AI as she shook off her shock and went back to scanning him.

“I’m estimating his blood toxicity levels at approximately .130%,” SAM answered.

SAM’s news prompted Suvi and Cora into action at the same time. Suvi grabbed the bottle and replaced the cap, then she and Cora hurried out of the galley with it. Gil didn’t see whether they turned towards the medbay or the bio-lab. He was only happy that stuff had been taken out of the room before Scott could get it into his head to have more.

“Shouldn’t we get him to the medbay?” Liam asked.

“He’s not in immediate danger,” Lexi said. “However, we _should_ get him to lie down as soon as possible.”

Scott didn’t appear to have heard anyone. He’d only continued to sob quietly into Gil’s uniform. When Gil began to rub Scott’s shoulders consolingly, however, Scott immediately jerked back and glared up at Gil through his tears.

“Where’is he?” Scott demanded.

“Where is who?”

“Your boyfriend! I’wanna know where’he is!”

Gil arched an eyebrow. “…Why?”

“’Cause I’mma kick’his ass, tha’sh why!”

“And _why_ are you gonna kick his boyfriend’s ass?” PeeBee ventured, and Gil noticed right then that her omni-tool was open and she was holding her arm suspiciously steady…

“’Cause he’s lettin’other guys hit on him!”

PeeBee clapped a hand over her mouth and her shoulders shook as she made a poor attempt to stifle her laughter. Kallo and Liam both at least had the decency to pretend to cough, and neither Drack nor Jaal even _tried_ to hide their snickering.

And if Scott had heard any of them, again, he gave no indication. “I’wanna know where’your boyfriend ish, and I’wanna know _now_!” Scott demanded again.

“Okay, Ryder, I’ll take you to Gil’s boyfriend,” Vetra said placatingly, finally coming out of her frozen shock. Even though she was addressing Scott, she met Gil’s eyes and inclined her head in the direction of the Pathfinder’s quarters.

And it looked for a few seconds like her ploy to get Scott back to his quarters to lie down was actually going to work. He let Vetra pry him off of Gil, and they even took a couple of steps towards the door. Before Gil could follow them, though, Scott seemed to realize that other people were in the room as well.

“Hey, you’re’not workin’, are you?” he slurred out, staggering away from Vetra and throwing an arm around Lexi’s shoulders. She only fixed him with a dry stare. “’Cause you should… you should take a break.”

“Unfortunately I have a patient right now,” Lexi said with a pointed look at him, and it sounded like she was resisting the urge to grit her teeth.

“Unless your’patient’s’dying, take’a break. Tha’sh an order,” Scott argued. “Have somea’tha’… somea’tha’ whatever-it-was Vetra brough’back. It’ll’make you feel soooo good…”

Lexi, however, stood her ground. “I’ll pass, thanks,” she said.

“Suit’yourself… hey, where’d’tha’ stuff go, anyway?” Scott looked around for the now-absent bottle, noticing for the first time that it had disappeared, and Gil was suddenly even more grateful Cora and Suvi had taken it away. 

Speaking of, the two of them had reappeared in the doorway. The obvious question was on everyone’s faces, but Cora only shook her head. She wouldn’t be answering the question while she knew Scott was listening.

“My boyfriend has it,” Gil answered, hoping Scott was drunk enough to fall for the lie.

Scott’s unsteady gaze slowly turned back to him. “That bastard,” Scott snarled, which elicited another round of giggles.

“So just come with us, and we’ll let you beat the shit out of him for that, too,” Vetra said, gently pulling him off of Lexi. Gil was on his other side this time.

“He’ignoresh th’hottes’ guy on th’ship, then he’steals my booze,” Scott complained as he let Vetra and Gil guide him towards the door once more.

But once again, he stopped after a couple of steps. “But’ve’y’all’ever noticed?” Scott said, leaning heavily against Vetra. Gil bit back a growl of frustration.

“We’ve noticed a lot of things, you’ll have to be more specific,” Vetra said. Gil wondered if it was wise to keep humoring Scott like this.

“Ever’one on this’ship is _fuckin’hot_ ,” Scott declared. Before another round of giggles could start up, Scott continued. “Ever’one…ever’one…except Jaal…”

“And what’s wrong with Jaal?” PeeBee asked from behind her omni-tool.

“Jaal…” Scott drawled, pushing off of Vetra and stumbling towards the man in question, who had a look of bemused curiosity on his face. “Jaal…is _fuckin’beautiful_.” With that, Scott threw his arms around Jaal’s neck and nuzzled his face into his throat.

At least Jaal had the grace to throw his hands in the air and shoot Gil an apologetic look, even as everyone else broke down laughing. Gil clapped a hand to his face and groaned.

“I suppose I better go start the pre-flight,” Kallo said quietly, though he was still chuckling. “We might want to leave before he decides he wants to go down to Kadara Port or something equally stupid.”

“Shit,” Gil muttered, pulling his hand away from his face. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll give you a hand.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll let you off this time. You’ve got your hands full, after all,” he said as he turned and left the galley.

“I’ll help you,” Suvi said, following after him.

“Umi’s ‘gift’ is hidden in your bed in the crew quarters,” Cora said in a low voice to Lexi. She then turned to PeeBee and in a louder tone said, “You’re helping with the pre-flight checks.”

“ _What?!_ Aw, come on, Cora— _HEY!_ ” PeeBee’s protesting was cut short when Drack swept an arm around her waist, lifted her off of her feet, and followed Cora out of the galley.

“SAM, disable PeeBee’s omni-tool and delete that vid she was making of Scott,” Gil said as they left.

“My authorization,” Cora called from the hallway.

“You all suck,” PeeBee grumbled.

Gil turned back to Jaal and Scott. Scott didn’t seem to have paid any attention to the exchange, nor to the others leaving. Jaal’s hands were hovering helplessly over Scott’s shoulders now and he was looking back at Gil. He seemed unsure of what to do.

“Sara’sso lucky,” Scott said, his voice slightly muffled where his face was still buried against Jaal. “She getsto’have sex with you…and someone…someone else getsto’havesex with Gil…”

“I’m going to get started running tests on that bottle,” Lexi told Gil. “Let me know as soon as you manage to get him to his bed. Or he passes out.”

“Assuming that ever happens,” Gil muttered as she left.

“Jaal,” Scott was now saying in what he probably thought was a whisper but actually wasn’t, “don’ttell anyone’this, but…but’I wantto havesexwith Gil’too…”

“Then you should consider telling him that,” Jaal said.

“Bu’if I do that, then’his boyfriend’d’ll kick my ass before…before I’geta chance to kick’his…” Scott argued.

Jaal’s eyes had been locked with Gil’s through the entire exchange, his expression both helpless and apologetic. However, at Scott’s last statement, his face suddenly lit up with inspiration.

“In that case, I say we should find Gil’s boyfriend right now,” Jaal said. Before Scott could say anything else, Jaal wrapped an arm around his shoulders and bent over to hook the other arm behind his knees. Then he lifted him up and carried him out of the galley.

Scott started giggling. “I’m’tellin’ Sara,” he said in a sing-song.

“I’m going to go see what Lexi’s learned about that stuff so far,” Vetra said as she, Gil, and Liam followed Jaal out of the galley. “Then I’m going to send a _very_ strongly-worded email to Umi.”

“I suppose I’ll go see if Kallo needs help with the pre-flight checks,” Liam said. “Then maybe I’ll send Umi an email of my own.”

“While you’re both busy cursing Umi out, just keep in mind that Scott didn’t have to drink that stuff before Lexi had a chance to test it,” Gil reminded them as they both headed off in separate directions.

As he’d spoken, Jaal had arrived in the Pathfinder’s quarters and deposited Scott on the end of the bed. “Now wait here while I look for Gil’s boyfriend,” he instructed Scott as he pried his fists out of his rofjinn.

“’Kay!” Scott said.

“An email to Umi doesn’t sound like a terrible idea,” Jaal murmured to Gil as he headed for the door.

“Before you start in on yours, would you mind stopping by the med bay and updating Lexi?” Gil said.

“Of course,” Jaal said. Then he was gone, the door sliding shut behind him.

Gil heaved a sigh of relief. Almost there.

“SAM, would you lock the—“ Gil was cut off when he was suddenly turned around, a pair of lips sealing over his and a tongue sliding into his mouth as he was shoved backwards until he hit the door.

“Scott, what—“

“I’ve decided,” Scott slurred out as his lips trailed down Gil’s jaw and his hands started travelling around Gil’s body. “I’m’gonna take’youfrom him. Then I’m….then I’mma kick’his ass.”

“Why the—“ _holy shit!_ Even drunk, Scott still knew to do that thing with his tongue that was a sure-fire way of sending blood rushing straight to his groin… “—why the sudden change of plans?” Gil asked, pointedly ignoring his arousal. Scott was in no shape for this.

“’Causesh’he doesn’deserve you,” Scott said. One of his hands had found one of Gil’s and pressed it between his legs.

“And why doesn’t he—“ Gil was cut off again as Scott’s mouth returned to his.

This time however, rather than pulling away, Gil found his eyes drifting shut and his free hand coming up to Scott’s shoulders to push his jacket off. As the leather fell free of Scott’s arms and slid to the floor, Gil’s occupied hand gave an involuntary twitch.

And his eyes cracked back open when his brain registered what his hand had discovered.

“Um, Scott?” Gil said tentatively against his lips. “As much as I know you want this to happen, I somehow don’t think it’s happening _right now_ …”

“Huh? Why’not?”

Rather than answer him, Gil gave another, much more firm squeeze to Scott’s completely flaccid member.

Scott blinked slowly, clearly trying to process what Gil was getting at. Then his gaze drifted downwards to Gil’s hand.

And then he was glaring down at his groin as if it had betrayed him in the worst way.

“Scott, I’m sorry,” Gil said, although even he could tell he didn’t sound quite as sorry as he probably should have tried to sound, “I know you really wanted to—“

“Fuck’me anyway,” Scott demanded.

“ _What?_ ”

“You’heardme. Fuckme anyway.” Scott punctuated his statement by grinding into Gil’s hand.

An argument sat ready and waiting on the tip of Gil’s tongue. But then he spied the bed over Scott’s shoulder, and had an idea.

“Okay,” Gil said, hoping he looked more enthusiastic about the idea than he felt, “if you want me to fuck you anyway, then go lie down on the bed.”

“’Kay,” Scott said in what was probably an attempt at a seductive purr. He then staggered to the bed, nearly tripping over his own feet a couple of times, before finally tripping on the edge of the bed itself and landing across it.

Seconds later, Gil started sending up prayers to whatever deity might be listening when Scott, rather than making any further attempts at seduction, rolled over, wrapped his arms around a pillow, and fell straight to sleep.

“Gil to Lexi,” he said into his omni-tool as he slumped against the door in relief, “he’s finally asleep if you want to come in.”

“On my way,” she answered.

 

_………….the turian’s arms wrapped around him, holding him in place in his lap, a harder and yet much slicker length than his inside him while his own slid in and out of the asari’s mouth, the turian’s sharp teeth digging into his shoulder while claws dug into his sides—had he broken the skin? He couldn’t make himself care right then—too good, this was too good………._

A sharp pain ricocheted through Scott’s skull and down his neck as he drew in a deep breath. The inside of his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton.

_………..the asari writhing under him, one of his hands finding her breast and squeezing—was that too hard? Had he just hurt her? She didn’t seem to mind in the slightest—as his cock thrust in and out of her wet heat, the turian still behind him, thrusting in and out of him, the asari’s nails scoring into his sides so hard blood welled up—it only made him want to thrust harder good God this felt so damn good they were both so damn good…….._

His cock gave a feeble twitch at the images running through his mind and he moaned, bringing a hand to his aching forehead. It didn’t seem fair to have such a headache when he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet.

_………..his mouth trailing down the asari’s jaw, following the fluttering pulse in her throat as the turian’s long blue tongue wound around his cock in the most delicious way—seriously, it was unfair that turians had such long tongues—until his lips closed around one of her nipples and sucked hard, the asari letting out a moan at the contact while one of the turian’s hands disappeared between her legs, the turian’s other hand dragging across his hip to hold him in place, blood welling up where the turian’s talons caught his skin………_

Where was he, anyway? The images—were they memories? Or were they dreams?—came to a halt as he made his brain get a handle on his surroundings. He was in a bed, obviously. Was it his? And someone was next to him. Was it Gil? He really hoped it was Gil.

Scott tried to open his eyes, and immediately slammed them shut again with a hiss of pain.

“Welcome back,” came Gil’s voice from beside him. Well, that was one question answered.

“What the hell happened?” Scott rasped out. Why did his throat feel like it was on fire? He forced his eyes open again as he continued his self-assessment. He was definitely in his quarters on the _Tempest_ , and judging by the stars racing by outside the window, they’d left Kadara some time ago.

He’d also been changed out of his clothes and into the t-shirt and pajama pants he normally wore to bed when he and Gil hadn’t had sex the night before. Beside him, Gil had taken off his uniform at some point and was now wearing a tank shirt and sweatpants. He was also working between his omni-tool and a datapad, much like he had been at dinner.

“You don’t remember anything?” Gil asked, glancing down at him.

“No, I…” Scott started, his voice trailing off. The last thing he could clearly remember was standing at the table in the galley. Vetra had brought in a bottle that she’d said was a gift from Umi, and Scott, on a crazy impulse, had decided to try some. And then…

And then…

Oh _shit_ ……

The entire night came back at him like a brick to the face.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Scott groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“Scott?”

His stomach chose that moment to start roiling. “I think I’m gonna throw up…”

The next thing he knew Gil was helping him out of the bed, and they just barely made it into the bathroom before Scott couldn’t keep it down anymore.

“Remind me to arrest Umi the next time we’re on Kadara,” Scott moaned a few minutes later, slumping on the floor next to the toilet.

“Or maybe you can just let Lexi and Suvi run tests on potentially deadly alcohol combinations _before_ you go drinking them,” Gil chided as he reached over and flushed the toilet. “Seriously, according to Lexi, if you’d had another glass of that stuff, it would have killed you.”

“Don’t worry, after last night, I’m _really_ never drinking again,” Scott said as Gil pulled one of Scott’s arms around his shoulders and helped him up. Scott stopped them both at the sink on the way out, grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, and went to work scrubbing the disgusting taste out of his mouth.

“There’s aspirin and a bottle of water waiting for you,” Gil explained while he waited on Scott. “Lexi’s instructions in case you woke up were that you were to drink the entire bottle before you went back to sleep.”

“Remind me to thank her,” Scott said as he wiped his mouth clean. Although he didn’t see how anything was going to make this raging headache go away, much less some aspirin and water.

“Also, remind me to apologize to Jaal later,” he said as they got underway back to his quarters.

“Will do—wait, what?”Gil asked, stopping in front of the door to the Pathfinder’s quarters.

Scott only averted his gaze away. He could feel his face heating up.

“Oh my _god_ , do you actually remember what happened last night?!” Scott winced in pain at the volume of Gil’s voice.

“That would be my doing,” SAM announced through Scott’s omni-tool as Gil finished leading them back into their quarters and helped Scott back into bed.

“SAM, how—wait…SAM, tell me you didn’t do what else I think you did,” Scott’s confusion turned rapidly to horror.

“I was also able to recover some of your memories from your previous experience with inebriation,” SAM confirmed.

“Oh, really?” Gil, _goddamn_ _him_ , lit up entirely at the information.

“Shit shit _shit SHIT_!” Scott groaned, rolling away from Gil and pulling a pillow over his face. So he hadn’t been dreaming, then.

He could feel Gil tugging at the pillow. “Oh, no! After last night, you owe me details!”

“Bite me!”

“I’d be delighted to! Now start talking, or I start blasting turian rock music!”

“Fuck you!”

“I’ll be happy to do that too!”

Scott groaned and let Gil have the pillow he was still tugging on. He clearly wasn’t getting away with this one.


End file.
